The Darts - Doug Fir Lounge, Portland OR - September 14, 2017

The Darts: [LA and Phoenix] I liked their look, different versions of Little Black Dresses, goth style. Their sound was classic garage, and garage punk, even down to an organ (there wasn’t one on stage) – descendants of The Cramps – closer to Lords of Altamont, The Makers – also reminded me of Lazy Lane, a female sexy-goth group – they’re way more hyped and rock. A hypnotic quality – I guess that’s the psych part. They amused me when they said their next song would be about an asshole… ‘well most of our songs are about assholes.’ Their lead singer is the debaucherous ribald one. The guitarist was a fierce tight-bodied girl, maybe South American, in little black briefs and a black tank top with shaggy hair – she finished off the song she wrote and sang by knocking her guitar into her mic – it was odd … and sexy. The drummer (who turns out to have been in The Dollyrots, whom I really don’t like) was the only blonde, all upbeat and math-teacher like – beaming when things got fast and hard. And then there was the other guitarist (maybe bass) … she had some fucked up eyebrows – I worry for her. I kept thinking ‘yes, they’re really good’ but there was something contrived or derivative or flat – maybe LA-over-produced. I suspect they are touring with Living End for reasons other than, or reasons above and beyond their music. They gushed their thanks to Living End for asking them to tour with them. And then, post-set, ingratiated themselves upon the poor innocent Portland boys, chatting them up, instigating mosh pits and crowd surfing, all of which involved black dresses up, bare butts out. I kept imagining Living End saying, “Blokes, we’re old – let’s get some hot rocker girls to tour with us – keep us relevant!” The crowd was miserable (immobile, unmoved) during their show – I got bitter and started listing the reasons Austin is better than Portland … and started looking for Chuck Klosterman in the crowd. I’ve been dreaming a lot, woke up one morning and was running through my dreams and happily realized one part of my dream was actually true: Klosterman has moved to Portland. It’s destiny – must track down Chuck Klosterman.

Comments