The Darts: [LA and Phoenix] I liked their look,
different versions of Little Black Dresses, goth style. Their sound was classic
garage, and garage punk, even down to an organ (there wasn’t one on stage) –
descendants of The Cramps – closer to Lords of Altamont, The Makers – also reminded
me of Lazy Lane, a female sexy-goth group – they’re way more hyped and rock. A
hypnotic quality – I guess that’s the psych part. They amused me when they said
their next song would be about an asshole… ‘well most of our songs are about
assholes.’ Their lead singer is the debaucherous ribald one. The guitarist was
a fierce tight-bodied girl, maybe South American, in little black briefs and a
black tank top with shaggy hair – she finished off the song she wrote and sang
by knocking her guitar into her mic – it was odd … and sexy. The drummer (who
turns out to have been in The Dollyrots, whom I really don’t like) was the only
blonde, all upbeat and math-teacher like – beaming when things got fast and
hard. And then there was the other guitarist (maybe bass) … she had some fucked
up eyebrows – I worry for her. I kept thinking ‘yes, they’re really good’ but
there was something contrived or derivative or flat – maybe LA-over-produced. I
suspect they are touring with Living End for reasons other than, or reasons
above and beyond their music. They gushed their thanks to Living End for asking
them to tour with them. And then, post-set, ingratiated themselves upon the
poor innocent Portland boys, chatting them up, instigating mosh pits and crowd
surfing, all of which involved black dresses up, bare butts out. I kept
imagining Living End saying, “Blokes, we’re old – let’s get some hot rocker
girls to tour with us – keep us relevant!” The crowd was miserable (immobile,
unmoved) during their show – I got bitter and started listing the reasons
Austin is better than Portland … and started looking for Chuck Klosterman in
the crowd. I’ve been dreaming a lot, woke up one morning and was running
through my dreams and happily realized one part of my dream was actually true:
Klosterman has moved to Portland. It’s destiny – must track down Chuck
Klosterman.
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