[Seattle,
WA] I thought Music&Ducks, a kind person, took pity on me and suggested
Dante’s because it’s clearly the most straightforward get-stabbed rock-club in
town but it turned out he’d seen/booked The Pynnacles in the past and wanted to
see them again—everyone’s got a selfish streak ;) So the lineup was messy
because The Know, the other club you could potentially get stabbed at in
Portland, imploded—per Music&Ducks, the owner was withholding pay and the
employees walked out en masse, leaving scheduled bands stranded. So Dante’s,
unlikely heroes, stepped in. It was apparently quite the dust-up because the bands
got a little misty-eyed referencing it. So Dante’s is an over-the-top red-lit
club, skulls in fire on the tables – someone literally got stabbed just outside
the club last year – downtown Portland ain’t what it used to be – I’m a believer.
The soundcheck was ridiculous – the lead singer kept yelling at the sound guy –
there were no normative HEY!s YEAH!s - just super aggressive exchanges – so things
were exciting right off. The band is, first, the surly lead vocalist in moderate-white-guy
afro and a flimsy cotton southwest print shirt that was sort of hipster but
sort of 70s. And then two happy jolly rockabilly guys on guitar and drums. You
figure it out. Right off, they were AC/DC. Music&Ducks heard Kiss. I heard
some Motorhead. Ultimately, I know virtually nothing about Kiss, and Music&Ducks
started listing how the lyrics and skits they were doing were verbatim Kiss, so
I defer. Music&Ducks is an easygoing person and it was interesting to see
him, dare I say, disdainful – he thought the band was shit. He’s probably right
– there were flatnesses and offnesses and quietnesses to their sound. They were
obviously super derivative. I was just sort of delighted – maybe because I
missed out on Kiss. They did rocker kicks, they had a whammy bar, there was synchronized
dancing of the guys-with-guitars. The surly one had some guitar licks and his
voice was the main event, a rip-off I understand. So the only other person in
the room partaking in my joy was a middle-aged party man in a backwards cap,
who (while never stopping the head-bob) used his phone to do a 360 of the whole
room (of like 30 people) and to video the entire set, giving each band member a
personal-video solo. He kept looking to the side of him for confirmation, and
although I wasn’t seeing it, fortunately for him, he did. Music&Ducks kept wondering
whether they were serious. I think they were and that their serious
ridiculousness is reminiscent of Anvil, a band whose music documentary is The
Best Ever. And as derivative as they may be, it’s not like the next band wasn’t
also – so I’m Team Donzis.
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