[Portland, OR] Why was I here? No particular reason other than NiceButStillDangerous was out of town which I took as an opportunity to get see live music he’d hate. I had no prior knowledge of the venue or the bands – which often reaps benefits, at least to my random loving mind. This one was an exceptional winner, especially in terms of the venue. I convinced ComedicTechy to accompany me – I was disconcerted when he showed up in a preppy mauve pullover and jeans that fit. It was a stark departure from his standard… a standard I honestly can’t even remember except the clothes don’t fit. He confessed his fellow nerds had accompanied him to a mall to find clothes suitable for a rash of second dates he’d recently experienced – this was heartening news given our friendship started in a dedication to crack the online dating hellhole, especially for someone like him who is at high risk of being human-algorithimic roadkill. We also have a band – on my way to our first practice, ComedicTechy texted me with a warning to not be put off by the false leg in the bathroom. I chuckled, already looking forward to stroking his bathroom’s textured 70s wallpaper – figuring it was just code for ‘it’s going to be weird.’ Well there was a leg in the bathroom. Band member BluesLegendByAccident was blinded and de-legged in an accident – he prefers to take his false leg off when he’s relaxing. BluesLegendByAccident sat at the table with a bottle of whiskey in front of him, a guitar on his lap, and sunglasses on – I was utterly charmed. OnTheBrink does something complicated on a laptop but I trust him because he’s a Wu-Tang fan too. I try to follow BluesLegendByAccident on my sad-guitar acoustic guitar, and ComedicTechy does spoken word over our clamor. We’ve only practiced three times but I have faith we’ll make it yet. Anyway, this band was a guitarist and a drummer and maybe a pre-recorded bass track. The guitarist sings and smiles slyly/snidely in his The Sound t-shirt, whom I googled to find were an English post-punk band from 1979 to 1988. They remind me of bands I love (Gun Club, A Place to Bury Strangers) but they’re more basic when those bands are cacophonous, and lazy when those bands are urgent. An example of some cringe lyrics: “Let’s decide right now – do we make out – because we’ve been here before. Staring at the floor. Staring at the floor. Staring at the floor.” Honestly, though, in the six months since I saw this show and sometimes listening to them on YouTube with their 50 listens, I’ve come around to thinking they’re alright. They had an arthouse black and white film playing in the background, in which a shoelace traced people’s bodies in a menacing way – it was Hilarious. But I’m pretty sure that was not their intent jaja.
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